Job description........

Job Description:
Team players required for a once in a lifetime opportunity (you hope) The work environment is often chaotic and activites seemingly pointless therefore candidates must possess excellent organisational and communication skills as well as have the patience of a saint. Must be willing to work outside of normal office hours including weekends and nights and be available on call 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. Must have a full drivers license and be willing to travel to endless sporting events and parties. Other frequent fetching and carrying required at short notice. Your own 7 seater (or similar) vehicle is preffered. Travel expenses not included.

Promotion prospects:
Virtually none. You are to remain in the same position for many years without complaining. You will be required to update your knowledge and skills on a regular basis until those under your supervision leave you behind for bigger and better things. Promotion to Grandma is not guaranteed and involves re-training and the resumption of on-call duties such as babysitting and food preparation.

Experience Required:
None. (no courses currently available) exhaustive on-the-job training offered.

Salary:
Starting salary is nil. Rising to nil. In fact, you pay them, offering frequent pay increases and bonuses for doing next to nothing. On their birthdays a one of payment
is required. You must also fund their educations on the premise that on completion, they will no longer need your deep pockets and will become financially independent. When you die, if you do have anything left, you give it to them.

Benefits:
While there is no health insurance, no super, no sick leave, no tuition and no holidays, the oportunities for personal growth are limitless. Plus if you play your cards right, free hugs for life! And don't forget Mother's Day!